Why after 2020, I’m Standing Up Against Inauthenticity

A 2021 Rant.

The least well-kept secret in my small universe is this:

I’m a positive negativist.

As a kid (teen?) back when I was reading horoscopes and stuff, I learned that I am a Sagittarius in the “European zodiac” and a fire horse in the “Chinese zodiac”. That makes me, like, triple Sagittarian, in theory.

In theory, that also makes me the single most optimistic person in the zodiac People who know me will burst out laughing reading this because they know that ain’t true.

I don’t see the full side of the glass, I just see empty glasses I know I can fill up, but first I have to find a source of water, which coincidentally is never within reach, yet I believe it exists, yet I don’t have the willpower to actually fight for it, and there’s so much other stuff that needs to be done before I reach the source of water and I’m pretty sure my glass will empty up entirely in 3, 2,1…

For this reason, 2020 has been a rollercoaster of emotions that culminated with me literally losing my mind, borderline getting myself into one of those fancy “I love myself” self-hugging shirts they give you in mental hospitals.

I’d be a fool not to acknowledge that, in the midst of all the craze, all the anxiety (still anxious, by the way), and all the nasty stuff that went down sooner or later in 2020, there were still things that went horribly well:

1. I continued to work for one of the single most amazing businesses in Romania. And before you jump in and judge that as “Pha, Romania, ain’t nobody care about that”, please consider that Romania (and Romanians) have come a longer way in 3 decades than any other country in Western Europe. Mic drop. Judge us, blame us, and call us names, but we’re fighters, hard workers, and pretty, pretty smart.
2. Somehow, 2020 has made me stumble upon a bunch of pretty amazing people and exciting opportunities. I have no real idea of how that happened, really. But I’m grateful to the algorithm that brought them into my life.
3. I gained clarity in multiple areas. I mostly added this point here because nobody loves a list with just two items in it. Also, “clarity” seems to be a buzzword among motivationalists (is that a word, even?). So I’m using it. More about buzzwords, later on in this rant.

Blah blah. I’ve read 30 posts on LinkedIn about that kinda stuff just this morning. Gratefulness is great (you can quote me on this). But it’s also the kind of thing people flaunt way, way too much in ways that are way, way too cliche, too insincere.

Which gets me to the main point of this quick introspection into what has been dubbed the weirdest year of my generation: be bloody honest with yourself.

I’m not saying don’t be grateful.

Or keep on being bitter and sad.

I’m saying please, in the name of everything nice in the pre-Covid world, accept that shit hit the fan.

’Cause, it did and there’s no prettier way to put it. Yes, I’m very happy you learned how to make banana bread and that you can work out at home too, but, before we jump into all the good stuff, please let’s take a moment and admit that 2020 has been pretty, pretty nasty.

I mean, do you even remember that we were all stuck at home in 2020? Can you even imagine that? And more importantly, could you imagine it at the end of 2019?

Or, not to mention, the fact that SO many people literally died due to a disease that literally did not exist before the end of 2019? That SO many people lost their jobs? That SO many people lost their mental health? That this is not over just yet and it will most likely be another year (at least!) before we can return to the “old normal” (if ever)?

Not being positive all the time is fine, really. You can’t just wave negativity away like you do mosquitos. Accept it. Embrace it. And then find the silver lining.

That’s where genuine gratitude starts. And that’s where authenticity begins.

All this is applicable to everything else outside of “The Great Year of 2020” too, especially to how you project yourself on social media.

Like, for example, if you sold shoes, accept that. It’s great, really. You had a job, you made connections, you learned something, it’s an experience. Don’t make this into “I was head of sales for a shoe company” line in your LinkedIn profile.

Not only is that offensive for people who have been doing shoe selling for the past decade, but it’s also offensive for people who have been working on their sales skills and it’s offensive for the companies who’ll actually take your LinkedIn profile as true. More than anything, it’s offensive to yourself. You are lying, and more than that, you are lying to yourself.

And yes, I do have an opinion about that. Because allowing myself to be myself is one of the greatest epiphanies I’ve had. And I think you can quote Cosmopolitan psychology all you want, but until you fully understand there’s just one person with your genetic code and life experiences, and that you’re supposed to make the most out of that, your psychology articles don’t mean much.

Yes, you can be whatever you want to be (except a rocket scientist, it’s probably too late for that unless you’re 7, case in which I hope your parents gave you their approval to be on this page, ’cause I curse a lot).

And yes, fake it ‘till you make it works as long as you actually work on making it. I can’t give you much advice here, sadly, though.

And yes, buzzwords are fine. But use them sparingly. And most importantly, don’t use them if you’re not actually it. There’s a whole lotta digital space crammed with buzzwords out there, and people ain’t making sense of it anymore.

All this being said and ranted, I have many resolutions for 2021. I’ll be very happy to make one or two come true by the end of this 2020-part-II-kinda-year. But if there’s one thing I’m really committed to, it’s this:

I will be authentic, honest, and candid. And I will encourage you to be the same by being bloody vocal about it.

Liked this? You can support my journey into writing more and better:

I run a newsletter called Procrastinatr, where I share:

• One article every week — usually on topics related to humans, marketing, writing, storytelling, psychology, or sociology.
• One video I think everyone should watch
• Social media articles, blogs, and newsletters I really like

You can subscribe for free here.

You can also follow me on LinkedIn, where I post regularly about largely the same topics (+/- Romanian culture, traditions, and language.)