3 Interview Blunders I Lived to Tell the Story Of

I have sat more than 20 interviews throughout my life. It’s a rough, approximate number because although I do remember each and every single one of them (sometimes in painstaking detail), I cannot actually put my finger on a number.

I don’t claim to be an expert in sitting interviews — if I were, I would have probably nailed more of them. I do, however, think I have learned a thing or two.

And, because the whole purpose of this entire blog has been, from the very beginning, washing out the sins of my failures in a shower of awkward, half-witted humorous posts, I thought that sharing my interview blunders would be a suitable piece. Especially after all the sappiness that took over my personal writing throughout the last few months.

So, guys, grab your cringe helmets and let’s roll.

Remember Why You’re There

My very first serious interview took place sometime in 2010. I was 19 or 20, it was my first year of college, I was extremely hungry, and I needed a job.

So, after much hope and anticipation, I got called for a customer support agent role in a phone company.

On the day of the interview, I put on my only white shirt and black trousers combo, I pulled my hair up in a bun, and tossed some random makeup into the mix for good measure.

I showed up 10 minutes early and discovered the first stage of the interview would be a group challenge. It didn’t particularly help my social anxiety, but OK.

We started off with a practice exercise where the interviewers pretended to be angry customers and we were supposed to calm them down and provide them with solutions. For the purpose of the exercise, they told us to choose a product we could discuss with the “angry customer”.

I choose a book.

Why would anyone call a customer support line for a book?

Why would I choose that, knowing I was interviewing a phone company?

We’ll never know. Such are the mysteries of life. I was young, studying literature and languages, and thought I could work best with what I knew best — books.

I made my case about the book during the interview, but realized, as I was watching all the other 5 candidates talk about phones, phone subscriptions, and laptops, that, well, this was not my big break into the world of decent jobs.

Needless to say, they never called back.

Ask Questions about the Job

Yes, I know everyone tells you that.

But my story might convince you to actually do it because it’s just one of those stories that might as well have ended horribly. Like, 5 o’clock news horribly.

I applied for a job called (pretty ambiguously) “marketing agent”. I was already working in marketing (somewhat) and thought this could be a good step forward.

Man, was I wrong!

I showed up for the interview and discussed with a tall, blond dude who spoke slightly broken Romanian. Things went well. I gave all the right answers, I smiled, I listened.

The one thing I didn’t do was ask what the job implied.

Later that day, the dude’s assistant called me to congratulate me for passing the first stage of the interviewing process. She invited me the next day to participate in the second stage of the interviewing process, something they called a “test day” (or something along those lines).

She also told me to dress “office” in “comfortable shoes”.

Now, I’m not a fashion guru, but that kind of triggered a big question mark in my head. Even so, I showed up the next day.

I remember a big car parked in front of the office, with a dude and some girls talking and laughing. The dude came up to me, introduced himself, and said he would guide me through the “test day”.

He invited me in, where I saw the manager’s assistant again. She went up, he went up, she came down, he came down, the manager came down, and he introduced me to the dude I had met outside(again), and off we went.

As we were walking out of the office, the guy told me that the job is a “field job” and we would all go to a nearby city today.

That was the second question mark that popped in my head. I stayed silent though.

For background, the only money I had on me was 8 lei (the rough equivalent of today’s $2). I did some quick math on how much a train ticket would cost me if I were to be left in the nearby city (it would have been $1), so I said Yes, sure.

We got in the car and he started explaining what the job was all about. Apparently, they were selling some sort of vacation vouchers.

Third question mark. Still didn’t say a thing.

We rode to the nearby city (it’s a 50-minute drive), and I watched from my front seat as we are riding well past it, into the fields of rapeseed surrounding it, well past the following villages and into the fields again.

We stopped in a small town, 30 god-damned kilometers from our “original destination”. He dropped off some of the girls there. At this point, I was more than 90 kilometers away from home.

And I still got back in that car.

We drove, and drove, and drove. I watched the guy and another girl in full action, trying to convince some people to buy the vouchers (and fail).

I watched as we were driving one village after another.

By 2 pm that day, we were about 140 kilometers away from home. I had no phone credit, no money, and I was starting to get worried.

We stopped for them to eat a full meal, which they did. I watched them, hungry, and had a Coke. There went 5 lei, so I was left with 3 lei. Definitely not enough to get back home by train.

As the girl was trying to convince yet another group of people to buy those vouchers, the guy drew me to a nearby park bench to tell me that, Yeah, you see, this is the job. Basically, we don’t have a fixed salary, as we work based on commission. But if you do sell like, 100 vouchers, you will get the minimum monthly wage — and more if you sell more!

At that point, especially seeing how well the voucher-selling was going, I was convinced was all a cosmic joke. I smiled, nodded, and told him it all looks interesting.

We got back in the car and headed back home, in complete silence. He stopped to pick up the girls he had left in that small town, and headed back towards my home city.

I must say, I was never this happy to see “Welcome to Timisoara” on that big, rusty banner right outside of my hometown.

I emailed him that evening to tell him that I am looking for a job with a little more security.

I hope things turned out well for him and the girls, I really do.

Be Natural

By the time I got to interview for a content writing role in a digital marketing agency, I had already gone through a very good bunch of interviews. Some were cute, some were, well, not my place.

But when I sat down with my recruiter in that agency, I felt, for the first time in my long series of (pretty much failed) interviews, that I can be myself.

And I was.

I was asked all sorts of questions, like how much I write, where I find inspiration, and how I call on the Muse of Creativity. Well, pretty sure this last one was not a question, but you get the point.

I was also asked to describe myself.

After about twenty seconds of silence, I told her, loud and clear, that I am not a sociopath.

She looked at me with a pair of big, brown eyes, and burst out into laughter.

I started laughing as well, realizing what I had just said, and went on: I am awkward when I meet people for the first time, but once I get warmed up, I’m a fuzzy teddy bear. Or so this is what my former high school classmates told me.

I also remember her asking me who would play my part if they were to make a movie about my life.

I wanted to say Meryl Streep.

Instead, I said I would like to be played by a cat-dog combination.

She laughed again. And that moment, I discovered that I didn’t even care if I’ll get the job or not. I made a stranger smile that day, so at least I did accomplish something.

I was pretty sure they would not call me back. But to my surprise, they did. And I got hired.

That place was a wonderful experience because it turned out that it was full of not sociopaths who want to be represented by cat-dog actors, just like I was. I still talk to some people I met there. Life has turned around and I even got to work again with some of the people I met there.

Being myself paid off for once.

The Bottom Line

I sat many other interviews since then, and I like to believe they got progressively better. Recruiters who meet me for the first time usually like my personality. Or so I like to think.

I continued to make some of them smile throughout the interviews I’ve sat ever since the one that got me my agency position. So at least I did something good.

With most interviews, there’s no right or wrong answer. Chances are that, if you give a “wrong” answer, one of the following things is happening:

• You are not fit for the position and that’s OK
• They are not fit for your career path and that’s OK too
• You haven’t prepared enough. Do better next time!

Don’t think of the person in front of you as a boogieman trying to squeeze mistakes out of you. They’re people. They might have had a bad day. They might be tired. They might have seen ten other candidates like you.

Make their day by being yourself, by researching the company and the role, and by asking questions. These things can make all the difference in the world! :)

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